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Phil Spencer's Life Depends on Starfield's Metacritic Score
In a shocking revelation, sources close to Microsoft have confirmed that Phil Spencer, the head of Xbox, has a tiny bomb implanted in his stomach that will detonate if Starfield, the highly anticipated sci-fi RPG from Bethesda, does not score at least 90 on Metacritic. The bomb was reportedly planted by a rogue faction of Sony fanboys who wanted to sabotage the Xbox exclusive game and take out its leader.
According to the sources, Spencer was unaware of the bomb until he received an anonymous email with a countdown timer and a link to Starfield's Metacritic page. The email also contained a video of the surgery that implanted the bomb, as well as a list of demands. The demands included:
- Starfield must score at least 90 on Metacritic by midnight on September 1st, 2023, or the bomb will explode.
- Starfield must not have any bugs, glitches, or performance issues, or the bomb will explode.
- Starfield must not have any microtransactions, loot boxes, or paid DLCs, or the bomb will explode.
- Starfield must have at least 100 hours of gameplay, 10 different endings, and full mod support, or the bomb will explode.
The sources said that Spencer was shocked and terrified by the email, but decided to keep it a secret from his colleagues and family. He hoped that Starfield would meet the expectations of the critics and the fans, and that the bomb would be deactivated. He also contacted the FBI and hired a team of experts to try to locate and remove the bomb.
However, time is running out for Spencer, as Starfield's reviews are expected to come out later today. The game has been hyped as one of the most ambitious and immersive RPGs ever made, but also faced several delays and controversies. The game is set in a vast open-world galaxy where players can explore different planets, factions, and stories. The game is powered by Bethesda's new Creation Engine 2, which promises to deliver stunning graphics and physics.
Spencer has expressed his confidence and excitement for Starfield in several interviews and tweets, calling it a "masterpiece" and a "game-changer". He has also praised Bethesda's team for their hard work and creativity. However, some fans have speculated that Spencer's enthusiasm was actually a desperate attempt to boost Starfield's score and save his life.
As of now, Starfield's Metacritic page shows that the game has not received any reviews yet. The page also shows that the game has a user score of 8.2 based on 1,234 ratings. The user reviews are mixed, with some praising the game for its scope and depth, and others criticizing it for its bugs and lack of innovation.
Spencer's fate hangs in the balance as the clock ticks down. Will Starfield live up to the hype and score 90 or above on Metacritic? Will Spencer survive the ordeal and continue to lead Xbox? Or will Starfield fail to impress and cause Spencer's demise? Stay tuned for more updates on this developing story.